Thursday, November 10, 2011

Letter from Bizzarro America

So I went into my room one day, and I found on my desk an envelope that seemed out of place. I opened it and here is what it said:


Greetings John, 
We here in Bizzaro America have managed to create a wormhole to America. Perhaps I should explain myself. During the 2008 presidential elections, a group of scientists, realizing the inevitability of an Obama presidency wanted to know if the election of McCain would change America in any substantial way. So they created an alternate America apart from America. I don't want to get technical as to how they pulled it off, but I simply want to relay some of the policies that President McCain instituted.
McCain, being the slightly off-color conservative that he is, went forward with the auto and bank bailouts. He also upheld the timetable set by Bush in Iraq, while keeping a residual military force to protect the embassy. The president also used drones to take out Al-Awlaki, an American citizen without trial.  He also took out Osama Bin Laden, but that mission didn't receive much coverage. I wonder if they found any actionable intelligence in the compound that Osama was in. Palestine made a bid for statehood, but McCain sided with Israel, making him unpopular among other world leaders. It seems as though really, McCain's presidency was a simple continuation of the Bush policies with a few exceptions. Obama's campaign message was right. There was no real substantive difference between the two presidential administration. 
I am certain that Obama was a radical departure from Bush in international and domestic affairs. I am willing to bet that he passed expansive health care reform over the objections of the unions and without the individual mandate he derided during the campaign. Sometimes I wish I was in your world. Go ahead and write a letter to me detailing the differences between between the Obama presidency and the McCain presidency I described and place it in this envelope before tomorrow. 
Best of Luck,
Bizzaro John 
I sent back a blank sheet of paper...


scintillate-Emit flashes of light; sparkle.
ovis - Latin for sheep.


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